An Open to letter to my MIL

Dear soon-to-be EX Mother In Law,

I know you and I have never really connected on any kind of level. I cringed when you called and let your son answer the phone when I saw your name on caller ID. I cannot stand that you lack social skills from not being in a workplace in over 30 years. I cannot stand that you can’t take any kind of joke. I cannot stand how you “argue” with my four year old on who won the tic tac toe game, when really she’s just getting a rise out of you, because it’s that easy.

I know you are blind when it comes to your son and his wrong doings. I know you blame me and my family. I know you are sad your only son is in prison and you now are left with me, someone who you never got to connect with. I know you are in denial. I sort of laughed when you said it was un-just and while I somewhat can agree (for other reasons), the truth of the matter is he DID do something wrong. He told me the story, he told his lawyer the story and from what I hear he’s told you the story SEVERAL times. You just must be a little hard of hearing, since you still yelled at the lawyer telling him that your son didn’t do anything wrong.

I also hear that you are upset with me, because I don’t intend to “stick it out” with your son. First of all, it has NOTHING to do with “sticking it out”, as much as it does about feelings and intimacy. And when you feel like you can’t touch your husband, well, I believe that’s a problem. I’m not so sure I can get past what has happened here. I’m very resentful, which turns me into a little bit of a bitch. Really, I don’t deserve to feel that way every day for the rest of my life and in fairness, your son doesn’t deserve to be treated that way either. So, while you think I’m not “sticking it out” because 3 years it too long, it’s more like I’m scared of what 3 years of built up resentment is going to do to a marriage. Your son and I have talked. He knows that I don’t think we will ever be the same again and he agreed with me when I said it wasn’t fair to either of us. I tried. For 9 months, I tried! Marriage counseling, spending time together and spending time apart. It never changed anything. I still felt the same.

Your son tells me to ask you guys for help when I need it. I’m not so comfortable doing that. You have always watched the kids for us on Thursdays. It’s a great deal, really. You get an entire day with the girls to yourself without me breathing down your neck and I don’t have to visit with you on weekends when I’d rather be doing other things, like (well really I can’t think of one thing I’d pass up to sit at your house and this includes an enema). And you don’t make me pay you, which rocks!

In the almost 5 years you have committed babysitting my children, it was never a problem that you came to my house early. You used to come over about 6:30-6:45, so I could get my butt into work to get in some extra time in. Now, I know that right now, the economy SUCKS and I’m forced to only work 40 hours a week, and therefore cannot go into work any earlier than my scheduled time, but I’m hoping (fingers crossed) that they lift that no OT block and I’d be able to put in a couple hours a week. One of those hours was going to be because you came to my house early.

See, when I work about 3 hours a week OT, that really equates to approximately $100 in my paycheck and therefore equals $200 a month. Do you know that is a make it or break it number for my bills?!? I’m sure you do, because I’m sure your son has told you.

So, imagine my surprise when you came over this morning (yes, early because I asked since I’m supposed to leave work early in order to go to my daughter’s pre-school Christmas party), and proceeded to tell me that 7:30 works better for you. And you didn’t say it nicely either. It’s was sort of rude. Like that I asked you to come over a little early this morning is going to kill you! You don’t work for Pete’s sake. And you only would have to do it one day a week.

Whatever. Thanks for your help! You really are a gem!

Sincerely,
Your soon to be ex-daughter in law (I’d bet we both can’t wait on that one).