I read on another blog that they don’t make resolutions; they make “goals”. I’m going to steal that and run. I decided to make goals for the New Year 2009.
To be more patient with my children. Life has become very hectic around here with me going back to work full time and when you are the only one disciplining and your children are pushing you to your limits, it has made me much more irritable. I’m going to re-read the books I have on discipline and maybe pick one up on single parenting and take it from there. I MUST learn how to do this, or the kids will never learn to respect me and they will fall into my habits, which I do not want either!
List the baby clothes on eBay. They are piled in my room in boxes and it is driving me INSANE! Hopefully this will be the first one that will be accomplished.
Schedule myself times for working out. Whether it is walking/running on the treadmill or doing an aerobic video, I NEED to get back into working out regularly. If I don’t plan to do so, then when it gets time at night, I’m too tired. If I have it “scheduled” I’ll feel more obligated to do so, since I have it planned. I’d also like to look into the Y and see if I can get any single parent assistance. I’d love to join the Y for both me and the girls, but can’t afford it.
Plan better meals / cook more. Since being back to work full time, I have not been good at cooking as much. I used to always cook and have good meals every night. We’ve eaten cereal for dinner more times in the past month or two than we have in the past 5 years! My mom got me a new Crockpot that has a timer, so I’m going to pull out some recipes and get cracking on making better meals for dinner!
Lose weight! I need to start tracking for Weight Watchers again. I have really let myself go and not been paying attention as to what I’m eating lately. I’ve still been good at the not getting fast food, but I’ve been snacking way more than I’d like to and eating after I’ve already eaten dinner is another big thing I’ve gotten back into that is BAD! I’d really like to see another 20-30 pounds come off of my body!
Go to church more regularly. I have really gotten away from getting to church and I really want my girls to grow up with the catholic foundation that I grew up with. I think it’s a great way to get out and see if there are groups that the girls and I can get involved in and meet some new people.
I plan on thinking of more, but this is my start. I’d like to constantly make and achieve goals for myself this year. This is the year of ME and how I’m going to thrive and become very independent with all the things that I thought I couldn’t do.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Our first movie theatre expierience
A friend from work gave me two free tickets to go and see the movie Bolt. We had never been to a theatre and figured why not, at least it's free. It's not the movie I would have chosen for them, but once again, it was FREE!
We were all excited. We packed a snack and got there a few minutes late (which was OK). After we got settled in, they ate their cookies. Five minutes after that, Morgan "didn't want to watch the puppy anymore" and Alyssa wanted to go home.
I told them we had to stay until the movie was over. They were OK. Then about half way through, they fell asleep. Both of them! I had to wake Alyssa up after the movie was over.
Well, I thought it was a good movie. Maybe we'll have better luck next time!
We were all excited. We packed a snack and got there a few minutes late (which was OK). After we got settled in, they ate their cookies. Five minutes after that, Morgan "didn't want to watch the puppy anymore" and Alyssa wanted to go home.
I told them we had to stay until the movie was over. They were OK. Then about half way through, they fell asleep. Both of them! I had to wake Alyssa up after the movie was over.
Well, I thought it was a good movie. Maybe we'll have better luck next time!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Very Accomplished
On Friday, I was quite nervous that we were heading into the last weekend before Christmas, and I had not wrapped one single present. I also was nervous that I had to make a ka-trillion cookies for a party on Sunday, and for the Christmas week. I thought for sure, I'd be pulling an all-nighter somewhere in there.
But, I skipped my Weight Watcher meeting on Saturday (which I probably shouldn't have done, considering the amount of cookies and food I consumed this weekend, maybe I would have been a little more cautious). And I started baking from the minute I got up with the girls. We made like 50 sugar cookies, frosted and sprinkled. Chocolate Chip Cookies, with M&Ms and some with Hershey kisses and rice crispy treats.
Then on my lucky streak, my mother called me and asked if they could take the girls to the mall. You don't have to ask me twice! I got them ready and they were gone for two glorious hours! And in those two hours I wrapped and wrapped and wrapped some more! I have pretty much all of their Christmas presents wrapped now (and I still can't find that one stinkin' bag. I'm starting to think those will be Easter presents at this point).
I feel so relieved and now I can go into these last few days before Christmas not so stressed. Although that gives me lots more time for thinking, which is not so good these days either...
But, I skipped my Weight Watcher meeting on Saturday (which I probably shouldn't have done, considering the amount of cookies and food I consumed this weekend, maybe I would have been a little more cautious). And I started baking from the minute I got up with the girls. We made like 50 sugar cookies, frosted and sprinkled. Chocolate Chip Cookies, with M&Ms and some with Hershey kisses and rice crispy treats.
Then on my lucky streak, my mother called me and asked if they could take the girls to the mall. You don't have to ask me twice! I got them ready and they were gone for two glorious hours! And in those two hours I wrapped and wrapped and wrapped some more! I have pretty much all of their Christmas presents wrapped now (and I still can't find that one stinkin' bag. I'm starting to think those will be Easter presents at this point).
I feel so relieved and now I can go into these last few days before Christmas not so stressed. Although that gives me lots more time for thinking, which is not so good these days either...
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I'm that good
That I can't even find the Christmas presents I hid. Not all of them, just a few that were in a bag.
Seriously, I've looked everywhere that I could have possibly stuck them. Where in the world did they disappear to?!?
Seriously, I've looked everywhere that I could have possibly stuck them. Where in the world did they disappear to?!?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
An Open to letter to my MIL
Dear soon-to-be EX Mother In Law,
I know you and I have never really connected on any kind of level. I cringed when you called and let your son answer the phone when I saw your name on caller ID. I cannot stand that you lack social skills from not being in a workplace in over 30 years. I cannot stand that you can’t take any kind of joke. I cannot stand how you “argue” with my four year old on who won the tic tac toe game, when really she’s just getting a rise out of you, because it’s that easy.
I know you are blind when it comes to your son and his wrong doings. I know you blame me and my family. I know you are sad your only son is in prison and you now are left with me, someone who you never got to connect with. I know you are in denial. I sort of laughed when you said it was un-just and while I somewhat can agree (for other reasons), the truth of the matter is he DID do something wrong. He told me the story, he told his lawyer the story and from what I hear he’s told you the story SEVERAL times. You just must be a little hard of hearing, since you still yelled at the lawyer telling him that your son didn’t do anything wrong.
I also hear that you are upset with me, because I don’t intend to “stick it out” with your son. First of all, it has NOTHING to do with “sticking it out”, as much as it does about feelings and intimacy. And when you feel like you can’t touch your husband, well, I believe that’s a problem. I’m not so sure I can get past what has happened here. I’m very resentful, which turns me into a little bit of a bitch. Really, I don’t deserve to feel that way every day for the rest of my life and in fairness, your son doesn’t deserve to be treated that way either. So, while you think I’m not “sticking it out” because 3 years it too long, it’s more like I’m scared of what 3 years of built up resentment is going to do to a marriage. Your son and I have talked. He knows that I don’t think we will ever be the same again and he agreed with me when I said it wasn’t fair to either of us. I tried. For 9 months, I tried! Marriage counseling, spending time together and spending time apart. It never changed anything. I still felt the same.
Your son tells me to ask you guys for help when I need it. I’m not so comfortable doing that. You have always watched the kids for us on Thursdays. It’s a great deal, really. You get an entire day with the girls to yourself without me breathing down your neck and I don’t have to visit with you on weekends when I’d rather be doing other things, like (well really I can’t think of one thing I’d pass up to sit at your house and this includes an enema). And you don’t make me pay you, which rocks!
In the almost 5 years you have committed babysitting my children, it was never a problem that you came to my house early. You used to come over about 6:30-6:45, so I could get my butt into work to get in some extra time in. Now, I know that right now, the economy SUCKS and I’m forced to only work 40 hours a week, and therefore cannot go into work any earlier than my scheduled time, but I’m hoping (fingers crossed) that they lift that no OT block and I’d be able to put in a couple hours a week. One of those hours was going to be because you came to my house early.
See, when I work about 3 hours a week OT, that really equates to approximately $100 in my paycheck and therefore equals $200 a month. Do you know that is a make it or break it number for my bills?!? I’m sure you do, because I’m sure your son has told you.
So, imagine my surprise when you came over this morning (yes, early because I asked since I’m supposed to leave work early in order to go to my daughter’s pre-school Christmas party), and proceeded to tell me that 7:30 works better for you. And you didn’t say it nicely either. It’s was sort of rude. Like that I asked you to come over a little early this morning is going to kill you! You don’t work for Pete’s sake. And you only would have to do it one day a week.
Whatever. Thanks for your help! You really are a gem!
Sincerely,
Your soon to be ex-daughter in law (I’d bet we both can’t wait on that one).
I know you and I have never really connected on any kind of level. I cringed when you called and let your son answer the phone when I saw your name on caller ID. I cannot stand that you lack social skills from not being in a workplace in over 30 years. I cannot stand that you can’t take any kind of joke. I cannot stand how you “argue” with my four year old on who won the tic tac toe game, when really she’s just getting a rise out of you, because it’s that easy.
I know you are blind when it comes to your son and his wrong doings. I know you blame me and my family. I know you are sad your only son is in prison and you now are left with me, someone who you never got to connect with. I know you are in denial. I sort of laughed when you said it was un-just and while I somewhat can agree (for other reasons), the truth of the matter is he DID do something wrong. He told me the story, he told his lawyer the story and from what I hear he’s told you the story SEVERAL times. You just must be a little hard of hearing, since you still yelled at the lawyer telling him that your son didn’t do anything wrong.
I also hear that you are upset with me, because I don’t intend to “stick it out” with your son. First of all, it has NOTHING to do with “sticking it out”, as much as it does about feelings and intimacy. And when you feel like you can’t touch your husband, well, I believe that’s a problem. I’m not so sure I can get past what has happened here. I’m very resentful, which turns me into a little bit of a bitch. Really, I don’t deserve to feel that way every day for the rest of my life and in fairness, your son doesn’t deserve to be treated that way either. So, while you think I’m not “sticking it out” because 3 years it too long, it’s more like I’m scared of what 3 years of built up resentment is going to do to a marriage. Your son and I have talked. He knows that I don’t think we will ever be the same again and he agreed with me when I said it wasn’t fair to either of us. I tried. For 9 months, I tried! Marriage counseling, spending time together and spending time apart. It never changed anything. I still felt the same.
Your son tells me to ask you guys for help when I need it. I’m not so comfortable doing that. You have always watched the kids for us on Thursdays. It’s a great deal, really. You get an entire day with the girls to yourself without me breathing down your neck and I don’t have to visit with you on weekends when I’d rather be doing other things, like (well really I can’t think of one thing I’d pass up to sit at your house and this includes an enema). And you don’t make me pay you, which rocks!
In the almost 5 years you have committed babysitting my children, it was never a problem that you came to my house early. You used to come over about 6:30-6:45, so I could get my butt into work to get in some extra time in. Now, I know that right now, the economy SUCKS and I’m forced to only work 40 hours a week, and therefore cannot go into work any earlier than my scheduled time, but I’m hoping (fingers crossed) that they lift that no OT block and I’d be able to put in a couple hours a week. One of those hours was going to be because you came to my house early.
See, when I work about 3 hours a week OT, that really equates to approximately $100 in my paycheck and therefore equals $200 a month. Do you know that is a make it or break it number for my bills?!? I’m sure you do, because I’m sure your son has told you.
So, imagine my surprise when you came over this morning (yes, early because I asked since I’m supposed to leave work early in order to go to my daughter’s pre-school Christmas party), and proceeded to tell me that 7:30 works better for you. And you didn’t say it nicely either. It’s was sort of rude. Like that I asked you to come over a little early this morning is going to kill you! You don’t work for Pete’s sake. And you only would have to do it one day a week.
Whatever. Thanks for your help! You really are a gem!
Sincerely,
Your soon to be ex-daughter in law (I’d bet we both can’t wait on that one).
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Yuck!
Why in the world does Alyssa choose to start getting sick right before:
A) Either a Wiggles Concert or the Disney on Ice?
B) A holiday (either Halloween or Christmas)?
Because she did these both! In October, I paid big bucks to go to Wiggles. Everyone is excited, then the day before, Alyssa gets sick! I still take her to the Wiggles because, well at $40 a pop, I'm not going to lose out on $120 worth of tickets!
Then right after was a Halloween party and Boo at the Zoo. She had to miss both, because she was still sick.
So that brings us to tonight. Disney on Ice! We are PUMPED! Excited! Can't wait!
We drive there with my best friend and her daughter, who also bought tickets. We get out of the car.
Alyssa's tummy doesn't feel well. And then it happens. All over the parking lot.
Now, she doesn't want to go in. UGH! Yeah, well because I'm such a mean mom, we still go. I then have to take her to the bathroom half way through because she doesn't feel well. Yeah, again! Of course, we still stay.
On the way home. Tummy hurts AGAIN! UGH, not good!
And tomorrow is her pre-school Christmas party where she's supposed to get a gift from Santa. And tomorrow night is my best friend's daughters party at Chuck E Cheese.
Friday is daycare Christmas party and Sunday is my big family Christmas get together.
Last year at Christmas she was flu sick too.
What is it with her and holidays?!?! They literally make her sick to her stomach!
A) Either a Wiggles Concert or the Disney on Ice?
B) A holiday (either Halloween or Christmas)?
Because she did these both! In October, I paid big bucks to go to Wiggles. Everyone is excited, then the day before, Alyssa gets sick! I still take her to the Wiggles because, well at $40 a pop, I'm not going to lose out on $120 worth of tickets!
Then right after was a Halloween party and Boo at the Zoo. She had to miss both, because she was still sick.
So that brings us to tonight. Disney on Ice! We are PUMPED! Excited! Can't wait!
We drive there with my best friend and her daughter, who also bought tickets. We get out of the car.
Alyssa's tummy doesn't feel well. And then it happens. All over the parking lot.
Now, she doesn't want to go in. UGH! Yeah, well because I'm such a mean mom, we still go. I then have to take her to the bathroom half way through because she doesn't feel well. Yeah, again! Of course, we still stay.
On the way home. Tummy hurts AGAIN! UGH, not good!
And tomorrow is her pre-school Christmas party where she's supposed to get a gift from Santa. And tomorrow night is my best friend's daughters party at Chuck E Cheese.
Friday is daycare Christmas party and Sunday is my big family Christmas get together.
Last year at Christmas she was flu sick too.
What is it with her and holidays?!?! They literally make her sick to her stomach!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Bad week
A friend of mine watched a Dr. Phil episode where the family's father had gone to prison. The mom told the children that adults have rules and their dad broke the rules and he had to go somewhere that was going to teach him what is right and wrong.
While I'm not so sure about telling my daughters that yet, I have told them that he has gone away for work and he won't be back for a while.
I'm struggling. Being on my own is hard. Being on my own with two young children is even harder.
While I'm not so sure about telling my daughters that yet, I have told them that he has gone away for work and he won't be back for a while.
I'm struggling. Being on my own is hard. Being on my own with two young children is even harder.
My oldest daughter is having a tough time without her dad. She broke down two different nights last week crying for her dad. This just isn't right to be dealing with the emotions for a four year old. My heart breaks for her. I'm having a hard time, because I'm left alone to have to deal with a four year old and these emotions.
Last week was a bad week. First it was the door, then the coffee pot, then the kitchen faucet, then my phone line.
I called the phone company and it was going to cost me $150 just to have a technician come out to look at it.
Luckily my friend's husband was able to come over and look at it and fix the line for me! Then, he fixed the door AND replaced my faucet!
This is the same man who had to walk me into my house because I drank too much at my company dinner. And SHE says he's a pain in the ass! I think I owe him something, maybe a small gift card somewhere!
I'm not going to make this into a long post, as I could (and probably should), because there is a lot of explanation behind what is going on. My emotions are all over the place and I've had a long 9 months. I'm already exhausted and I've got 3 more years to go.
I called the phone company and it was going to cost me $150 just to have a technician come out to look at it.
Luckily my friend's husband was able to come over and look at it and fix the line for me! Then, he fixed the door AND replaced my faucet!
This is the same man who had to walk me into my house because I drank too much at my company dinner. And SHE says he's a pain in the ass! I think I owe him something, maybe a small gift card somewhere!
I'm not going to make this into a long post, as I could (and probably should), because there is a lot of explanation behind what is going on. My emotions are all over the place and I've had a long 9 months. I'm already exhausted and I've got 3 more years to go.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
More broken things
It's been 17 days since he's been gone.
The side screen door broke on Tuesday.
And just now, the kitchen faucet handle broke.
Crap.
Damn It.
Remember, mommy doesn't like broken things?? What the hell to do now??
The side screen door broke on Tuesday.
And just now, the kitchen faucet handle broke.
Crap.
Damn It.
Remember, mommy doesn't like broken things?? What the hell to do now??
Mommy doesn't like broken things
Why is it that when I'm not paying attention for two seconds, my two and a half year old will break my coffee pot? Now how the hell am I going to wake up in the morning?!?
And this is after I told her when she broke the refrigerator lock that mommy doesn't like broken things. You'd think she'd learn. Jeesh.
And oh how I HATE that my children can get in and out of the refrigerator whenever they feel like it.
And this is after I told her when she broke the refrigerator lock that mommy doesn't like broken things. You'd think she'd learn. Jeesh.
And oh how I HATE that my children can get in and out of the refrigerator whenever they feel like it.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Blogging, Take Two
I'm trying this blogging thing again. Mostly for therapeutic reasons. I don't have time to see a real therapist, so I'll just vent and bitch here and hopefully that will help me to not choke my children while they fight over anything and everything.
There's a lot to the back story and I want to tell it, but right now I'm really tired. It's almost midnight and I was determined to get a new blog post up before I went to bed.
I will say that my life has been recently turned upside down. It's not what it was a year ago and I'm facing many struggles in which I know I'll get through, but damn it, they are tough!
There's a lot to the back story and I want to tell it, but right now I'm really tired. It's almost midnight and I was determined to get a new blog post up before I went to bed.
I will say that my life has been recently turned upside down. It's not what it was a year ago and I'm facing many struggles in which I know I'll get through, but damn it, they are tough!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
